The Customer Journey — A Road to Nowhere

Let’s kill the myth.

That diagram in every deck — bubbles, arrows, stages like “Awareness,” “Consideration,” “Conversion,” “Loyalty”?

It’s fiction.

A bedtime story marketers tell themselves when they’re too scared to admit they’ve got no clue what actually turns people on and moves them to act.

So they strip out the messy human part — and swap it for paint-by-numbers frameworks they can hide behind.

They call it the Customer Journey.
I call it the Marketer's Fantasy.

Here’s why so many customer journeys fail:

People don’t move like that.

Nobody sees your banner ad, watches your explainer video, reads three blog posts, and suddenly decides to give a fuck about your brand, product or service.

Real people skip steps.
They ghost you mid-funnel.
And come back later for reasons your CRM will never understand.

They buy because a mate said it was good.

Because the packaging or story slapped.

Because they were drunk at 4 a.m.

Or bored.

Or pissed off.

Or just ready.

Not because your funnel worked.

Because something else did.

But still, you sell the story.

You pitch the journey because it makes you look smart. Because it gives the client something to nod at.

But here’s the thing: the ‘customer journey’ wasn’t built by successful marketing creatives who know what works — and what they’re doing.

It was built by measurement merchants playing strategist.

They use dashboards to justify their bullshit, not build belief. And sell it to people who don’t want connection. They want cover.

An insurance policy for shit marketing — and a scapegoat when it tanks.

So you draw maps.
Build fake personas like ‘Budget Brenda’.
Invent touchpoints.
And then you wonder why no one gives a fuck about your work.

Here’s the real play:

Marketing that sticks doesn’t follow a path —
it creates presence.

It doesn’t lead people step-by-step.
It builds resonance, not routes.

People act because something moved them—
not because they were nudged down a funnel like sheep.

But — and this matters — effective marketing isn’t chaos.

It’s not just “throw out a vibe and hope it sticks.”

There’s structure. 
There are patterns.
There is strategy.

And it all starts by acknowledging that the marketing map isn’t a journey — 
it’s a landscape.

Your job is not to guide people gently along it —
it’s to stand out in it.

To create emotional landmarks, not footpaths.

To make the right people stop.
Look.
Feel.
Remember.

What actually matters:

• Segmentation: Real humans. Real data.
  

• Targeting: Know who you’re for. More importantly, who you’re not.
  

• Positioning: Say something true. Say it bold. Then repeat it until it sticks.
  

• Balance: Build a brand for tomorrow. Sell today. Not one or the other — both, always.
  

Journeys are for tourists.
We’re here to start fires.

To earn attention.
Build memory.
Influence decisions.

With clarity.
With guts.
With consistency that connects.

So tear up the funnel.
And bring a better map.

One rooted in customer truth — not fantasy.
One that reveals buying behavior — not imagines it.
One that doesn’t confuse control with connection.

Because if you think marketing is just nudging people through phases, you’re not a strategist.

You’re a tour guide in a marketing zoo no one asked to visit.